My meditation practice was 6 months old in February 2016. It was consistent. It was an overwhelmingly positive influence in my life providing profound experiences and realizations. Looking back, I was "proudly" practicing. At that point in my life I was proudly doing a lot of things, proudly building things, proudly accomplishing things etc. I can honestly say it was not a egoic pride, but it was the beginning of a humble energy mixed with proudness and satisfaction. I would imagine this feeling of humble pride is easy for many people to relate to regarding things they have changed, realized or achieved in their lives.
Each morning I would wake and tired or not I would get out of bed and go meditate. So each morning upon opening my eyes and engaging self, the energy of achievement and pride was present, the energy, of determination was there. Exploring that further I see these energies were present not just when I was getting ready to meditate, but they were there any time I spoke about it or discussed it with someone or anytime I thought about it. And, not just meditation, but any of the accomplishments too. It pervades your world much more than you think.
So there I was, six months into my meditation practice, sitting on my couch reading a narrative written by Swami Krishnananda from the Divine Life Society, on the Mandukya Upanishad. The Upanishads are ancient texts from the sages of India and this particular Upanishad describes Om and how knowing the true meaning of Om will by itself provide liberation. His writing is beautiful. I was reading about Om, which is what I was meditating on, and there on page 28 he says " if God blesses you with the time and patience necessary to do this practice for even half an hour daily, you should regard yourself as a thrice-blessed seeker".
Blessed with the time and patience.....
The truth of this statement resonated inside me. I, very simply, knew it as truth. It was not me accomplishing something, it was me being blessed with something to accomplish. It was me being blessed with time and patience to accomplish my hearts desire. That was humbling. It caused a grace given shift in the energy of my approach to all things accomplished by me. Looking back at my life it is clear, I have been SO blessed. I was so grateful. So humbled. And reflecting further I see I am not just given something to accomplish I am blessed with something to accomplish it with, this beautiful form of the human body, awareness and conciousness.
From that point forward my energy upon waking to meditate each morning transmuted from pride and determination to humbleness and gratitude for the gifts and opportunity bestowed upon me. . My energy carried with it the enormity of the love that is offered and given to me each day in all things I do. I walked into my meditation with pure gratefulness and a full heart of compassion and love, no longer self centered achievement. This resonated not only prior to and in the act of, but also when I thought about it or talked about it with anyone.
May at you be blessed with the time and patience to achieve your hearts deepest desire.
May you be blessed to feel the love that surrounds you each day.
May you be blessed to see the offerings, offered.
May you be blessed to bless.